Damaged

Cold seeps in as she closes her eyes
And all around her the darkness tries
To erase the pain and agony
That she has been caused so callously
But all her wounds, even time can’t heal
All of her sorrow the world can feel

Dark Journey

Reality cuts deep, her innocence dies
All of the wonder is now gone from her eyes
A shell is left, so empty and hollow
And no path is lit for her to follow
Through the dark alone she will stumble
Hoping each step that she won’t crumble
From all of the weight that’s on her now
This pain and fear she can’t allow
On she goes, seeking release
Hoping for the pain to cease

Too Late

I wish you’d just hate me for all I am
I can’t keep living a life that’s a sham
Feigning indifference is wearing me down
The sorrow inside threatening to drown
The waters get deeper with each little lie
And the fire inside continues to die
So walk away now before it’s too late
And all that you are is all that I hate

Into The Vortex

She’d rather be numb than feel the pain
And never feel the cold of the rain
From all of the storms that are yet to come
That do their best to make her succumb
So within her heart a vortex forms
And it will consume as it transforms
This heart once on fire to solid ice
But this new future will not suffice
To give up the pain she gives much more
All the happiness that was in store

Hiding

Once again I disappear
Behind a mask, hide my fear
Let no one see what’s inside
The deepest truth’s, try to hide
Sadness I’ll hold deep within
Show no tears upon my skin
Wear no heart upon my sleeve
Though in my chest it will heave
There’s no weakness I will show
Where to hit they will not know
But can I keep this charade
How long till it starts to fade

In Those Eyes

Misery seems to fill her eyes
But so few see through her disguise
A sweet smile covers her face
With a soft glow it lights this place
Though a sorrow exists within
To it fully she won’t give in
Around the corner she will find
A gazing pair of eyes so kind
Be they blue or brown or green
They will hold that peace foreseen
They will see beyond her sorrow
Hold her heart for each tomorrow

Reflection

In my reflection a stranger stares back
It’s not my face for its soul seems so black
A stranger who exists in a world so cold
And staring me down in a manner so bold
This person can’t be who I have become
This tortured soul who learned to be so numb
Joy seems drained and smiles are so few
Laughter is gone and sorrow seeps through
I watch in disbelief as this face starts to cry
Feeling the tears run down, my cheeks no longer dry
For this face reflected is my own
It is my own sorrow that is shown

Sweet Escape Lost

Oh to drift into that blissful sleep
Where worries fade as I fall so deep
And mind is clear of all life’s weight
Dreams are sweet and there is no hate
To fall into such a sweet embrace
Where happiness is all that I chase
Where fear and sadness have no place
Seeking sanctuary in that space
But that peaceful bliss continues to elude me
And these long nights seem to remain a certainty

Fire and Ice

This is by far my favorite poem.  It’s by Robert Frost and has a lot of meaning.  Especially to me.

Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I’ve tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.

This talks how about our lives may end.  How this world will end.  Will it be in passion, love and hope?  Will it be in hate and fear?

A month ago I would have absolutely side with Ice.  I have seen and experienced so much hate, fear, betrayal.  It makes it hard to believe that there could possibly be enough passion left in me or in this world to over come that.

But today I say it will be Fire.  I know.  You’re thinking what the hell is she talking about?  Hasn’t she sworn off love?  I am talking about passion for life.  I have a renewed passion to make my life great.  To live life as if there is no tomorrow.  To love my family.  To love myself.  To hold my head high.  To choose love of life over hate for what has happened to me.  To choose passion for the everyday small things around me over fear of what may not even happen.  I am choosing happiness over sadness.

I will still have times where I will feel sad or where I will feel fear.  But these times will not define me or my life any longer.  I am jaded, yes.  I feel pessimism, yes.  These things are a part of me and it will take a lot for that to change.  But they are not all of me.  I can’t allow it to consume me.